upupa sings a song for me

During crisis and pain, we can discover love. In a desperate situation we are filled with unconditional love. The word crisis is like cross roads. Violence and pain cannot stay in a space full of love and light. Angels landing from above, dissolving the dark wherever they go.


The other day I was amazed. While laying in the hammock reading a book, a small upupa bird (hoopoe) shows up.
It came to sit just within three foot-steps of reach. It was looking at me with curious eyes. It looked as if it wanted to tell me something, but I couldn´t understand it´s language. I just had a subtle feeling.


I had to find out more about this incredible bird, which was so pretty to me. Not only was I impressed by it´s colours, but also the soul felt light as its feathers.


I read that it´s name was given by a Swedish ornithologist, Mr Linneas in 1758. By that time the bird was common on Swedish ground. It used to be common in England as well, but was later (after the 50s) extinguished, probably because of the overuse of pesticides in agriculture.


I wonder if this particular individual could come flying from Egypt. In ancient Egypt, upupa was considered a sacred bird, it was forbidden to kill it and it was often illustrated on thumbs. I am sorry to know that life is not as sacred in today´s Egypt.


In Greek and latin mythology the upupa is instead considered to be a despicable in the Metamorphoses of Ovid. When the king of Thrace, Tereus's wife Procne (learnt of the rape of her sister Philomela by her husband) servs dishes cooked with the meat of their son Iti, Tereus tries to kill her and is turned into a upupa while Procne became a swallow and Philomela a nightingale. The god´s choice of  the upupa comes from the crest of this bird that indicates royalty, while the long, pointed beak recalls the violent nature of King Tereus.

In the Bible, upupa should not be eaten, since considered the bird of sin.


In the Coran upupa is a messenger.


In old Persia, upupa is considered the bird of virtue.


In Europe the upupa was considered a thief, just like the magpies. In Scandinavia, on the other hand, seeing an upupa was associated with an imminent war. The sound of the bird hip hip was a prediction of a non-peaceful period of time.


In the Baltic countries, hearing their singing is an omen of death to humans or animals. They use to think the upupa was able to establish a contact between the realm of the living and the death.


After reading the history about upupa, I wonder if the choice of Israel to use the upupa as its national bird was just a random one.


I do believe us humans were more connected to human earth once. We felt nature, and nature could speak through us. Most of us lost this deep connection to mother nature. So my feeling is there is some truth to be found in the knowledge of the past regarding the upupa.


However, the bird confuses me. Why did it show up on August 14th, the worst day of killings in Egypt. If it really is supposed to be the "bird of death" then why did I feel like it was telling me to live my life as much as I could.

sowing seeds

                                                                                                                  









De parvis grandis acervus eris
out of something small, great things can be accomplished


Looking back, on August 1st one year ago, I posted some thoughts regarding the owl - the sign of transformation. Now, a whole year has past by, and what have I learnt since.


                                                                 
I learnt the essence of: sowing seeds



Sowing seeds can be interpreted in many different ways. You may sow flowers, vegetables or other seeds to make your garden look beautiful, to have tasty vegetables or just a greener environment. This is partly what I have been doing.
I have planted almost two hundred plants of tomatoes, together with zucchini, peppers, unions, potatoes, cucumbers, aubergines...



It has been an amazing journey to see the tomatoe plants become two meters high and full
of red fruits hanging from them, when four months earlier they were only a 1 mm small seed.
To see something so small and vulnerable, become something so hugh and generous, is awarding. You dedicate a lot of your time taking care of these plants, from watering them when they are small, to eliminating branches and tying them when they get bigger. The fun part is to pick the fruit. That is the time when you can fully sense the satisfaction of your fatigues. The taste of the tomatoes is the proof your work has been rewarding.

There are many ways to sow seeds on. I have been imagining myself being a seed. I do this as a meditation. I bend down lying like a baby in my mothers stomach. In there I am safe, since I am just a small tiny seed. Then something happens to me. I can feel the warmth coming, filling my whole body from within. It gets so warm, I feel I need to move. I take my first moves, up towards the sun. I slowly move my arms up to touch the sky. My legs are bending open now, standing up. I feel I want to reach the sky, my whole body is a plant which is growing towards the sun, almost feeling as if I could touch it. Finally the tense feeling of reaching out gets to a climax. I yell out loud, then I let my arms hang down, relaxing.



Another way to sow seeds is in life. Whatever your aims, your goals, your ambitions are. Start to sow some seeds here and there. Look for the right people and let them know what you desire. Keep your eyes open, never let an occasion go out of hand. Each moment in life can be a moment to sow a seed. Slowly, but safely, you will see that what you are sowing will start to grow.
Whether it is about a job, a material thing, a spiritual path, a journey or a relationship.



In relationships, especially, sowing seeds are important. When making new friends you are sowing new seeds. Then, in time, you need to make sure to take care of the friendship. If you do not take care of the plant that is growing, it will grow out of hand. A relation is just as a fragile flower - you need to take daily care of it. You need to water it, give it some nutrition, let it stand in the sun. If you do not add some positive energy to the relationship, sooner or later it is condemned to break.



Sowing seeds are important for our lives. They can make our dreams come true. They make our relationships last long. They help us achieve what we want in life.
But you need to remember to have no rush. Growing is a long process, it takes time and a lot
of energy and care.


     Chi va piano va sano e va lontano
                                                                                             Who goes slowly, goes healthy, goes far

bear encounter before a long rest

meanwhile the last few maple leaves fell from the trees
your body left the surface of the planet earth
you took farewell in the same place where your life first saw the sun
in that same stead you finally laid down to rest
but that site is forever yours, and you are forever the site

your body, as the mountain, heavy and full of wisdom
you were magnanimous just as the wide vastness of the forest
you were a torrential current, as the river with its magnificent power
your heart knew of no limits, as the infinity of the horizon
you were generous as the woodland with its red gold

you could flare up just as a heap of leaves that blow in the wind
just as fast you would calm down again
your calm was as a lake, your still reflection in the water
your footsteps just as stable as a pine and fir
you were soft and mysterious as a fen
your eyes were warm as the colours of the maple leaves

every time I walk in your forest, breathe the air, pick the berries, I will think of you
cause now you live amongst us, your spirit float between the tree tops
you still exist in the water drops that falls on the spruce hut
you are eternally there in the air the trees breathe, in every single breath
the pines whisper your name, the creek and the thrushes sing your song

when I walk there I know in my heart,
while the beautiful colours of autumn fade away and enter the bleakness of the winter
your spirit will rest, as the bear hibernate
then later, on the first day of spring
it will see light again when the first life begin to sprout
you are once again a part of everything
you, the king of the forest

Today it was exactly two months ago that I left Florence in a rush to go to see my family. A family member, my step father, my mother´s husband had sadly past away in an accident a few days earlier.
It came as a shock to us all. No one was prepared to face such pain and sorrow.
I was really scared at first. I thought I never could handle facing such sadness. Then I thought about my family, and at sudden I knew I had to face the situation. At least I had to do it for them. We had to be united in such difficult times.
It helped me to write about his death. I wrote a poem, then I wrote articles which were later published
in different newspapers. Many people were affected by his sudden farewell. He knew many, many knew him. He was that kind of person that everybody knows. Any time he came you would notice him. Now that he is not here with us, he left an emptiness. A hole not easy to fill again.
The only way I know is to continue to write about him and talk about him. If we learn from him,
he will continue living amongst us. Cause a person is not its flesh and blood. A human being is such because of what he or she stands for. For what one worship. And we can continue to treasure those values he cared for. We can try to embody what he lived for.

Three nights ago we were once again remembered of his presence. That he never really left us. Only his physical body left this earth. This time his appearance was quite unusual and unexpected.
My mother and brother, still living in the same house where he lived almost all his life, were woken up two hours past midnight by an animal barking. At first they believed it was the neighbour´s dog. But then they thought it was too loud so they went out to see. On the street outside their house they could spot a small fox barking under the light. It semt rather scared. Like it was barking of fear.
They returned to the house. My mother told my brother to have a look from the balcony if he could see any other animal. He could see nothing because of the dark. But he heard a very loud growl just a few meters away. Then he could sense a heavy animal lope away from the house towards the forest. By then he was sure it was a bear. He wanted to go out into the dark to see it. But my mother stopped him. None of them had never ever seen a wild bear, none the less would they ever expect to see one just outside their door.

Next day, at daylight, they did go out. They saw traces from the bear all over their garden. He had eaten from their apples. He had been outside their cellar where they keep even more apples. He had been spying around their property. There were traces everywere.
When my mother told me the story, I was shocked, but also convinced. This was her husband coming back to greet her. For the last time before winter. Bear usually eat as much as they can before hibernating. He was probably really hungry. And he knew there were lots of apples in his own garden -who would know it better than himself?
My mother was worried he would come back the next night, and the next. But I told her, no need to worry. It is only her husband coming back again for a last farewell. And she should put out the apples from the cellar so that he has enough food for the long sleep during wintertime.

I know this will not be his last time to lay down and rest. May he rest in peace.

we are star dust

Infinito cielo stellare: ti guardo e subito mi domando "cos´altro sono oltre a quello che gia so di essere?"

Infinite sky of stars: I look at you and I ask myself "Who am I, more than what I already know to be?"


Sometimes I wonder if there is a parallell world for me on some other place on this earth. I wonder how I would be, how I would live, what kind of people I would be surrounded by.
Is there more sides to me to discover? Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my life. Each time I traveled far in space and time I have discovered new parts of myself. Secret rooms of a huge unhabited castle I never visited before. There can be treasures there to be find, but also others rooms which I rather would not walk into.

At times I am amazed of what I find inside. There can be all kinds of magic in there. That is why I always have risked everything. Sometimes you need to leave all you have behind if you want to find something new. Each and every time I find a new secret room, I grow. Life becomes magic. It is just as if there is a whole undiscovered world inside me, full of unknown talents. There are two events in my life which made me realize this.
There are two dependant conditions. For your potential to fully bloom, you need to risk all you have, and you need to have faith. Universe, in the end, is nothing but energy.

During the phase of my life while living in China I had a desperate need of moving. My housing situation was going beyond control and I had only two or three days of time to move. But I could find no place nice to stay in. While walking on the street with a Chinese friend, a lady comes up to me on the street. It turns out I go to live with her and her sweet son. That was the beginning of living together with a wonderful Chinese family and a friendship that will last forever.

 

 

I always wanted to meet a Swedish singer. I knew all her songs by the age of twelve. I used to sing her songs, playing them on my guitar.
While living in Stockholm for a brief period of time, I felt time had come to realize my dream of seeing the singer live. I seriously thought about it for weeks, and told my friends how I could feel it coming. I had faith it would happen. I was very lucky to recieve four tickets to her realease concert, which was only for invited guests. The concert was amazingly intimate.
I stood only a few meters away from the singer. But I still felt it was not enough  - I felt I needed to talk to her. My curiosity was taking over.

After a few weeks time I told my friend I had faith that time had come. I was walking with her in a park, and when we split up, she called me telling me she had just seen the singer there. But I could not see her anywhere. I felt disappointment coming over me like a cold shower. I laid down on a bench in the sun. The warm sunlight gave me strenght. Lying there I realized this was not the only chance. Somewhere deep inside, I knew there would be more chances.

Next day me and the same friend was watching a concert in a jazz club. Music was wonderful.
We were enjoying the company and our drinks. When I looked around me, I was almost chocked when I saw the singer standing just at an armlength of distance from me. I almost did not believe my eyes. But I realized my moment had come. I had faith this moment would come. And here it was.
So I did not hesitate one second. I stood up, and went over to talk to her.

Now I wonder If there is a new secret room to discover for me? Shall I follow my instinct or will it bring me on a tuff winding road again? Where will I find total peace?

It might be that our destiny is written in the stars. It might even be so that each and every one of us used to be a star. When someone dies a star stops gloving. When somebody is born, a new star starts shining in the sky. Or is it that the light that comes from a star is born inside of us at birth?
If we could carry that light inside of us, that little star, we could be happier. If we could have more faith in universe life might be easier. If you believe your destiny is written in the stars, you need to have faith. You do not need to worry anymore. Destiny will take care of you. Little star.


Siamo figlie delle stelle (We are the children of the stars)
 

owl transformation on a full moon night

“I want to realize brotherhood or identity not merely with the beings called human, but I want to realize identity with all life, even with such things as crawl upon earth.”

                                                                                                                              Mahatma Gandhi

Today I had a strong emotional experience watching a movie. It is not every day I get moved by films, at least not as strongly as this one, and not as profound. The story is about a vet student who loses his both parents in an accident and end up going to work for a circus. He fells in love with the woman who trains the horses. In the very beginning one of the white horses dies from a disease. It is sad. I cannot support watching horses getting hurt, none the less die. It reminded me of the time when I saw a real horse getting carried away for slaughtery. It was full moon that evening, and I cried.
But the event that made me cry desperately was when the circus director is hurting the elephant really badly. The elephant is lying down, full of wounds and blood. It was a terrible scene. It made me full of sorrow and pain.

Elephants are spiritual, and deeply emotional animals. I experienced that myself on a trip to Mandalkiri, Cambodia where I realized my dream of riding an elephant. I was not sitting on the back in a box like many poeple do. I asked to sit on the head of the elephant, to steer it with my own feet, and so I did. It was a truly wonderful feeling. After riding for a while, we stopped in the djungle to swim together with the elephant. In the water I had a spiritual, close-to-euphoria, experience. When I was bathing the giant animal, and getting so close to him that I could touch his face, I looked deep into his eyes as he was lying in the water relaxing. It was something special to me. Unexplainable.
What moved me the most was what happened while riding our way back to the village, where we had to cross a road with cars. A big truck with loads of standing people on it, came towards us, backing up to let people watch the elephants. Both people and truck were very loud. The elephants got really scared, they were trembling and we were shaking. They were screeming like frightened children. They tried to run away. The mahouts got really nervous, hitting the elephants with a stick to avoid them to escape. In that moment something that I will never forget happened: one elephant took the other´s trunk and twirled it around his own trunk. That way they were looking like they were hugging each other. They were comforting each other.

I was not surprised when I read the news that an elephant had killed two trainers while escaping from a zoo. The elephant did not even touch the people that had not caused him any harm. He only killed or hurted the ones that had been evil to him  earlier on. I believe this is karma.
They say elephants and horses remember everything. I would like to sign on to that. I belive that if you hurt an animal, it will one day, sooner or later, get revenge.
I will not tell you here the end of the film, but I can assure you the end has to do with karma.
I never hurted my horse and she has never ever even tried to bite me. A neighbour of mine just got bit by his horse really badly. That horse was used to violence from his earlier owner.

The other day, while I was walking my dog as I usually do in the evenings, I saw a a beautiful white barn owl. It was quite and calm outside, the night was black except for the road lights that lightened up the way. The owl was sitting majestly on top of an electric cord, standing out as it was, huge and white, in the black night. I had an emotional boost, since it was one of the very few times in my life, and for sure the first time seeing a barn owl. I knew by seeing it transformation was on its way. Owls bare a rumor of being the symbol for change. So I felt. I find myself in a moment of life, undergoing different transformations. Seeing the owl was just an affirmation that I am walking in the right direction. All the changes I am living right now will benefit me in one way or another. I could sense I am having positive vibes. Attracting all kinds of animals lately should be a sign for that.

Tonight is full moon. Full moon always makes me wonder about our connection to this earth, universe and existing as a whole. How come the cycle of the moon is just as long as the femal cycle? Every time I watch the moon, I always try to see if I can trace its face. Normally I always find the two eyes, the nose and...yes, its smiling mouth. It appears to me the moon is always smiling. I wonder why? Does life on earth look really funny from so far away? Are our day to day problems so small, if you look at them from a distance? I wonder if the moon would have the answer to all these questions.

meditation on a pear tree: enjoying life from a fruit perspective

 "in the universe there is a huge tree which nourishes all unborn souls"

                                                                                                                           Aztec belief

Just a few days ago I was sitting on top of a pear tree meditating. Looking down under me, I watched my two horses and donkeys chewing and enjoying the sweet pears that fell down to the ground. It seems sitting up there, you could look at life from a different perspective. Sometimes very little is needed in order for us to look at the world with brighter, more clear eyes.
Letting my animals eat from what mother nature has to offer gave me a feeling of deep satisfaction. Just as a mother watching its child swim for the first time, I felt happy since they really enjoy eating fresh fruit. And what could be more fresh than pears directly from the tree?

While meditating up on the tree I imagined myself being one of the many pears. I could visualize for a while a pear tree full of people. On each branch, instead of a family of pear I could see a family of people. And then the bigger branch included the bigger family, and so on. This way we create a whole society of pears. A tree full of people. Everyone with different shapes and forms. Some are sweeter than others. Some are more mature than others. Some grow old quickly. Some stay young for all their lives. But in the end we are not that different from each other. Just like a tree of pears, we humans are quite similar to each other. Some stick out a little bit more, some hide away behind the leaves. But we all connect somehow. We all suffer in one way or another. We all have similarities. Things to share with each other.

Once we stay on the branch with our pear family life is generally easier. It is when we fall down, become mature, that we need to take responsibility for our own lives, everything gets a bit more complicated. For some people it can be the freedom they always wished for. And for most sooner or later they create their own little family - on a new branch with other small little pears.

Sitting in a comfortable position on the tree, I was listening to the song of the balm cricket and meditating about some people that live close to me. I could see how people seem to become more and more individualistic. It almost appears that we are living in a narcissistic era. Society is hedonistic: focus is to have fun, always, in every situation.
I read that in order to develop a good self esteem you should avoid narcissistic concepts such as impatience, constant acknowledgment, focusing on yourself and your own goals, stay away from negative feedback, comparing with others, and fixate with your own appearance.

A healthy self esteem should be based upon letting go of your own self, your own ego. Dedicate yourself to others and their needs, achieve vision that are not only about yourself,  reward effort and learning plus having an immense patience. At the moment when I was sitting up on the tree shaking the tree so that the pears fell down to the ground, these feelings appeared. I believe that many having babies can have the same feeling - when you dedicate yourself to the baby you feel better.

Part of my meditation was also about acceptance. I am reading a book on the subject, which makes me contemplate. It is not easy to accept a lot of things in life. I often realize I try to avoid thinking things or feeling in certain ways. But my book says I should not try to avoid it. It says I shall just open up the doors to my inner self, let the thoughts be there, let the feelings come and go. Just as clouds on the sky. Not try to change them or influence them. Just let them be. Thoughts and feelings are just that. They are not real as long as you do not act them out. If you manage to see them as human constructions, not as a copy of reality, you can more easily invite them in, let them come and go, not keep them, and not change them. Just accept them.

In many Buddhist contries, and also in ancient China, you don´t use the expression "I am sad", "I am happy" or "I am angry". You would say "There is a sadness", "There is a hapiness", or "There is angriness". You are not your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts and feelings just live inside you for a little while. And you can choose which feelings and which thoughts feel good to live with inside of you. Thoughts that are constructive for you in some way.
Just as waves in the sea, both positive and negative feelings come, culminate and fade out. How many times do we not wish to stop, change or inhibit the uncomfortable feelings? Sometimes it works, but most of the time not. What we can do is to "surf" on the feelings just like a pelican surf the Pacific ocean waves - to have them and to be in them - but without acting upon them or lie floating upon them.

There is so much suffering in this world. We can choose to not suffer. If we accept more what happens in our life, in ourselves, all around us. The things that happen around us may not create suffering just because it happens. It is the way we look upon them that create the suffering.
Next time you feel anxious, you should try to sit up in a pear tree, see the world from a different point of view and try to immagine being a small green pear. Sweet and innocent. Just existing.

the importance of speech for our well-being

Your thoughts create your speech, your speech create communication, your communication create reactions, reactions creates relations, relations is the mirror of your well-being.
                                                                   Universal Education for Compassion and Wisdom


Have you ever wondered about how speech and languages are important for us human beings?

The unique with us humans is suicide. Suicide is an action that no other living creature on this planet committs. How come? What distinguishes us from other life?

The answer could be the speech. Humans can speak and communicate in a way that no other creature is able to. Speech have enormous cultural and biological advantages, but also psychological costs. Speech in a wider sense (images, thoughts, writing, singing etc), is an efficient help to pass culture in all its forms. Let us not forget our capacity of quickly communicating vital information.

We can connect through reflecting and sharing information about our inner self. This way we can strengthen our community. But speech can also cause trouble. It can even cause pain.

Speech is an abstract phenomenon which enables us to interpret and misinterpret each other. Negative feelings are often associated to neutral verbal activities - words. Word have power. When you think or say a word, you are starting a series of activities. Words create images, feelings, physical sensations and actions. Plus, words have the power to create pervasive basic perceptions about ourselves if you allow them to exist in our conscious for too long. If you tell yourself: "I am worthless and ugly" five hundred times a day - how will you feel like in the evening? What will you do?

Words are not objective, true or even real. But they still have the power to create suffering. An experiment to test that would only be possible on a human being. A stately lion or a hot-tempered ant do not have the capacity to comprehend words such as useless and ugly. None the less say those or communicate those words to others. The consequence: the ant will continue struggling, maybe suffering, maybe happy. At least, she will not feel ashamed or bad about herself.

The words also have the power to affect us positively and functionally. We have, luckily, also the capacity to sometimes think good, helpful and happy thoughts or thoughts which are neutral and realistic. The problem for us are knowing which ones are good to socialize with. Which ones should we let affect us?

The negative thoughts have a tendency to dominate many peoples minds, creating unpleasant pain, which worsen their lives. We need some sort of mental discipline and training in order to identify and socialize with the helpful, realistic and happy thoughts, knowing that they, as well as the dark and negative, are just that - thoughts! With other words: words as constructions.

What is interesting about culture and speech, is moreover how languages can form our minds and behaviour.
Scientists say that in these days, the overlapping of different cultures are creating a new kind of human being: Homo Biculturalis.

Luigi Anolli, professor of psychology at the University of Bicocca, in Milan states that "During the study of Chinese Unviersity students in American campuses we discovered that these youngsters have a mind capable of moving with ease not only from one language to another, but also between different value systems. They are individul and hedonistic with their American friends, but respectful and modest with their Chinese counterparts".

We are not talking about schizofrenia or hypocrisy here: the fact is that their minds are really capable of functioning in two different ways without contradiction. Images obtained through magnetic resonance prove it: when the students are induced to feel American, they elaborate concepts such as "mother", "myself" and "another person", in different parts of the brain. When they are induced to feel Chinese the same concepts overlap in the same area of the brain.

Biculturalism which alter the architecture of the brain is the theme of the book of professor Anolli. "To have a mind equipped with many different cultural "tool boxes" will be crucial to move around in an increasingly interconnected world. It might become such an important factor for success that, in the long run, it could reveal itself as a reproductive advantage. In the human gene pool these brain characteristics will spread",

What differentiates the impact on the human mind when humans of today mix - in respect of before - is the social and technological conditions. For instance Italian immigrants in the United States first created a half-cast culture, then progressively, mixed in the melting pot. Today, cultural identities are stronger and contacts with mother homeland through travels and internet are intense and continuing.

"Individuals that grow up in between two cultures do not wish to be assimilated with one or the other. They rather wish to be a bridge between these", Agnolli says. "This gives them an extraordinary advantage, both as mental openness and professional possibilities. They are precious persons, that each country and region should value highly".