Sunday, November 25, 2012

bear encounter before a long rest

meanwhile the last few maple leaves fell from the trees
your body left the surface of the planet earth
you took farewell in the same place where your life first saw the sun
in that same stead you finally laid down to rest
but that site is forever yours, and you are forever the site

your body, as the mountain, heavy and full of wisdom
you were magnanimous just as the wide vastness of the forest
you were a torrential current, as the river with its magnificent power
your heart knew of no limits, as the infinity of the horizon
you were generous as the woodland with its red gold

you could flare up just as a heap of leaves that blow in the wind
just as fast you would calm down again
your calm was as a lake, your still reflection in the water
your footsteps just as stable as a pine and fir
you were soft and mysterious as a fen
your eyes were warm as the colours of the maple leaves

every time I walk in your forest, breathe the air, pick the berries, I will think of you
cause now you live amongst us, your spirit float between the tree tops
you still exist in the water drops that falls on the spruce hut
you are eternally there in the air the trees breathe, in every single breath
the pines whisper your name, the creek and the thrushes sing your song

when I walk there I know in my heart,
while the beautiful colours of autumn fade away and enter the bleakness of the winter
your spirit will rest, as the bear hibernate
then later, on the first day of spring
it will see light again when the first life begin to sprout
you are once again a part of everything
you, the king of the forest




Today it was exactly two months ago that I left Florence in a rush to go to see my family. A family member, my step father, my mother´s husband had sadly past away in an accident a few days earlier.
It came as a shock to us all. No one was prepared to face such pain and sorrow.
I was really scared at first. I thought I never could handle facing such sadness. Then I thought about my family, and at sudden I knew I had to face the situation. At least I had to do it for them. We had to be united in such difficult times.
It helped me to write about his death. I wrote a poem, then I wrote articles which were later published
in different newspapers. Many people were affected by his sudden farewell. He knew many, many knew him. He was that kind of person that everybody knows. Any time he came you would notice him. Now that he is not here with us, he left an emptiness. A hole not easy to fill again.
The only way I know is to continue to write about him and talk about him. If we learn from him,
he will continue living amongst us. Cause a person is not its flesh and blood. A human being is such because of what he or she stands for. For what one worship. And we can continue to treasure those values he cared for. We can try to embody what he lived for.

Three nights ago we were once again remembered of his presence. That he never really left us. Only his physical body left this earth. This time his appearance was quite unusual and unexpected.
My mother and brother, still living in the same house where he lived almost all his life, were woken up two hours past midnight by an animal barking. At first they believed it was the neighbour´s dog. But then they thought it was too loud so they went out to see. On the street outside their house they could spot a small fox barking under the light. It semt rather scared. Like it was barking of fear.
They returned to the house. My mother told my brother to have a look from the balcony if he could see any other animal. He could see nothing because of the dark. But he heard a very loud growl just a few meters away. Then he could sense a heavy animal lope away from the house towards the forest. By then he was sure it was a bear. He wanted to go out into the dark to see it. But my mother stopped him. None of them had never ever seen a wild bear, none the less would they ever expect to see one just outside their door.

Next day, at daylight, they did go out. They saw traces from the bear all over their garden. He had eaten from their apples. He had been outside their cellar where they keep even more apples. He had been spying around their property. There were traces everywere.
When my mother told me the story, I was shocked, but also convinced. This was her husband coming back to greet her. For the last time before winter. Bear usually eat as much as they can before hibernating. He was probably really hungry. And he knew there were lots of apples in his own garden -who would know it better than himself?
My mother was worried he would come back the next night, and the next. But I told her, no need to worry. It is only her husband coming back again for a last farewell. And she should put out the apples from the cellar so that he has enough food for the long sleep during wintertime.

I know this will not be his last time to lay down and rest. May he rest in peace.